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| R.F.E.D
(Ring Finger Erectile Dysfunction) Does Not Have to Ruin Your Life! Much like the penis has been known to control the minds of the lads of the world, the minds of single maidens are often taken over by a body part that loves to distract us at the strangest moments: our ring finger. At weddings, it maliciously taunts us during slow dances, and on blind dates it immodestly exposes its naked flesh. At bars it has been known to make us drink too much and cry in small bathroom stalls. Then there are the dreaded family gatherings where it can make us say terrible things to our grandmothers when they ask why it's not dressed for the occasion (more on that later). Every time a handsome stranger walks by, it pops up and leaves us with a terrible case of the blues at whatever ball we are attending. Oh, and can it ever make us lie! We'll say and do just about anything to release the pressure, but unfortunately, getting the opposite sex to comply with our "carnal" desires for a ring can be difficult. The painful truth is that living with R.F.E.D. can be both frustrating and humiliating for everyone involved, especially you. What's worse is that curing it takes more than becoming exclusive. In fact, the side effects can actually worsen once you've slipped the slipper on. One maiden recently admitted to breaking down in tears when she opened her e-mail and received the engagement announcement of a friend who had been dating her boyfriend for a year. When this maiden's suitor walked into her castle, he found her in a fit of tears and asked her what was wrong. She explained and, WHAM, she immediately began down the path of pressure that inevitably had a negative effect on her relationship. Pressure uses force, and force--even subtle force--is not natural. She'd fare better by watching him move at his own pace. This way she could observe his actions and have a better understanding of who he is and whether he is right for her. So you see, the obsession with finding that damn finger a ring to slip on affects most maidens and can snowball into something extreme. Thoughts about relationships and marriage can become an addiction, and when this happens we have to treat it as such. |
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